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      作家在写作中。他逐渐沉入自己的内心,看上去心不在焉,眼神朦胧。
      历史和当下的生活在他心中如一首乐曲渐次展开,那些形象和事件生动而逼真,以至于他无法分清究竟是回忆呢还是想象。“犹如一首乐曲”,他想,“这个比喻是好的,虽然古老,但重要的是它仍然准确。”
      作家在写作中,思想和激情如同战场上的交锋在把他撕裂。黑夜巨大,时间无穷,人类的痛苦无边无际——他感知这一切,他的心为所有置身于无量痛苦中的人而痛。“实际上地狱不在别处,而就存在于人类对痛苦的感知当中,生命的痛苦无边无际,伴随着人类的一切行为而产生,地狱也就无处不在了。”他想。
      “我无法安慰痛苦中的人类,就像我无法安慰我自己”,作家说。
      他雄心勃勃,要成为人类中的俊杰;他要把神圣的事物叙说。他笑着自己的虚妄,但同时被无法抑制的激情带走了。他笑着人类的虚妄,什么“人定胜天”,什么“杀死上帝”,什么“打倒命运”;他知道:无限在无限之中,永恒在永恒之中,人类置身于这难以想象的、无边巨大的容器内,犹如微尘在无尽虚空里。人怎么可能操作自己存在的背景呢?他笑着人的虚妄但爱着他们。他知道:从不开口说话的是惟一的真神。“他回来了,从一阵和风细雨中回来,从怒放的石榴花和奔跑的野牛中回来了。”作家这样叙述。
      面对神圣的事物他心中只有虔诚,祈祷并祈求,让那神通过他开口说话。
      神会赐予,而人只有接受。作家在写作中面对了死亡,他感到过恐怖,但他知道他必定会在死中得到真正的休息。死是那神的慈悲和怜悯,是那神对人的爱。若不经由死亡,人何以到达不死而成就永恒呢?
      他笑着自己又厌弃着人。他恨,他蔑视,但他把最重要的交给了他们——就是他自己。
      然后,激情消失了——写作结束,留下作品,被阅读或被遗忘。
      而他卑微又疲倦,像一团燃尽的火那样逐渐暗淡下去。

     
     

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